What’s WITH Single 30 year-old women and their dogs? …Says the a##hole
A few weeks ago, I was quenching my alcohol induced thirst at Forest Room 5, one of Denver’s low-key hot spots, located in the trendy trenches west of downtown. If you haven’t been there…imagine a lounge situated in a hip, artificial forest. Think Ikea meets Gnomeworld (the Travelocity dude)…but in a kosher kind of fashion.
Anywho, I was chatting away with my two Denver BFFs (Celeste and Miranda), when a playa’ in his early 40s approached us and negatively said, “What’s WITH single 30 year-old women and their dogs? It’s weird. Single women are obsessed with their dogs. They always have to leave dates early to go let their dogs out. Who wants THAT responsibility?” (In other words, he’s pissed b/c female dog owners won’t shack up with him.)
Clockwatch aside, it only took me about .27 seconds to flick the switch – transforming from lovable, flirty Leaza to beeee-atch on a rampage. I explained to him (in my best calm bitchy voice), “Hey, my dog is loyal and loving, and actually protects me from weirdos.” During my tirade, I whipped out my iPhone, waving pictures of Fluffmuffin (see below) in this divorced dufus’s face – delivering a sermon that would make canines around the world howl with pride.
My dog "Fluffmuffin"
I couldn’t help but defend almost every single woman’s “best friend.” Growing up, I always told my dog “goodnight” before drowsily falling asleep. And a few decades later - Fluffmuffin receives the SAME treatment before I hop under my comfy duvet cover. Yes…families and single men love their dogs, but MAYBE single women cherish them more. And if so, I’m OK with that. (Who else will guard my dirty socks all day?)
I then challenged the bachelor (wearing too much hair gel,) “So, if you don’t like dating women with dogs because there’s TOO much responsibility involved – you REALLY must not like dating women with kids.”
He then sheepily stated, “Well, I have 4 kids.”
Quickly realizing this guy had enough baggage to put Southwest airlines out of business, my BFFs and I turned our heels and left Mr. “Pot Calling the Kettle Black” in the dust, alone in the faux forest.
I went home that night, and let my dog sleep in the bed. Funny thing, I’m sure THAT guy…was sleeping alone.
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All this “dog talk” makes me think about a popular Youtube clip by Wendy Francisco called “GoD and DoG.” Check it out…your dog will appreciate it.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!Tags: dog, Forest Room 5, Pets
January 13th, 2010 at 10:03 AM
I laughed, then I cried! Sweet video.
January 13th, 2010 at 2:12 PM
Good character sketch. Kind of a creep…
I miss my dogs.
January 13th, 2010 at 6:56 PM
Ok, so you know I LOVE THIS!!!! Esp since I went out with a guy that I so fondly refer to as “The Dog Hater”. A guy who is 43 and has never been married, engaged, not likely even dated anyone longer than a month. Anyway, on our 2nd date he proceeds to go into this long speech on how women in their 30′s who have dogs, get them to replace the fact that they don’t have men in their lives. (And he knew I had 2). Oh and even better he said, “Oh and girls who have cats, don’t get me started on what I think about them. I would never go out with a cat lady.”
As soon as I got inside and saw my pups excited to see me, I thought “The more blind dates I go on, the more I LOVE my dogs!”
January 13th, 2010 at 10:51 PM
I love it…”The Dog Hater, Part Deux.” I’m sure THAT guy is still still sleeping alone.
January 14th, 2010 at 9:12 AM
I’m good with a lady and her dog… just not when the dog gets to sleep in the bed when I’M there! Creeps me out. Does that me a man jerk?
January 15th, 2010 at 8:57 AM
I agree with the no dogs sleeping in the bed policy, but that is because you never want to get a cold nose while you are trying to heat it up in the bedroom. My rule: No dogs in the bed when you have some guy to keep you warm instead.
January 28th, 2010 at 7:20 AM
A classmate recommended me to check out this site, brill post, fascinating read… keep up the nice work!
March 25th, 2010 at 12:45 PM
It isn’t about liking animals or not. It’s about what kind of folks tend to obsess over and treat their animals like “people”.
Of course if all someone can handle in the way of “relationships”, is a simple, undemanding critter that can’t talk or complain, then what’s that say about their potential for more complicated things (like relationships with human beings)?
BTW, clinical Narcissists famously don’t “do” emotional intimacy (their ego and self-esteem aren’t strong enough to let anyone “in”). So a close relationship with their pet is usually a much safer alternative for them.