Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know the drill…the ole familiar mantra. Life is about change, right? Change is inevitable. Change forces you to grow. Blah blah blah. (Damn those motivational speakers!)
Don’t get me wrong. I do relish some change…in certain situations. I enjoy changing my hairstyle, my toenail polish, my sheets (oo-lah-lah), underwear, and of course my address (when I moved to Denver). On the flip side, I HATE changing my own flat tire.
But some things…I just want to stay “the same.” For comfort reasons.
On top of my “no-changes-allowed” list…tried and true friendships. You know….the ones you can count on one perfectly manicured hand.
Thankfully, the bond I have with certain girlfriends has never changed (sounds cliche but true). I don’t have “blood” sisters, so my girlfriends are my “true” sisters. Yes, our lives have transformed over the years…but our emotional connections haven’t. True BFFs survive a typhoon of marriages, divorces, hangovers, cross country moves, breakups, breakdowns, newborns, new jobs, bad jobs, no jobs, 50 cases of PMS, and about 1.2 million bad and good dates. And I haven’t even mentioned the mini-makeovers, pounds lost, pounds gained, and all those damn exercise hours in between.
This comforting reality hit me last week when one of my BFFs (aka Brendy) visited moi from Kansas City. (I used to live there a few years back.) As any good hostess, I showed her all the beautiful “mile-high” city highlights. We sauntered down Larimer Square, rubbed elbows with the cougars at Elway’s, burned some laps at Wash Park, and even conquered Rocky Mountain National Park.
More importantly, though, we just cut to the chase and fell into our old BFF routine….the one that never changed. Same friendship…just a different location. Our fears…plus our dreams….all rolled into one conversation. Minutes in, Brendy and I were “in the zone”…best described as a combination of hot gossip, emotional details, genuine reactions….coupled with spurts of laughter, “oh-my-gods,” bedroom details, and various bitch sessions.
Bottom line…who cares about salutations and fluff…when you can get to the heart of the matter efficiently? Throw in some red sangria and watch the conversation run rampant.
A few days in to Brendy’s visit…..I realized something. Spending time with her…made me miss her EVEN more! Of course I had missed her the last few years….but as her departure loomed ahead…and the clock seemed to speed up….we realized the scope. It was huge…and special. Something I hope every woman experiences.
Brendy and I boo-hood like teenagers leaving summer horseback riding camp the night before her flight back to Kansas City. We hugged on the couch and felt pretty darn “Hallmark-card” pathetic. Heck, I’m surprised we didn’t buy cheesy friendship pins…or carve our initials into some poor tree.
After she left, I was seriously depressed all day…secretly sniffling to myself while editing video at work…trying to write an episode. Brendy texted me from the plane equally as bummed. Sigh……our big adventure was officially over. When I got home…I scarfed down potato chips, crawled under a blanket, and watched a chick “Sundance film festival” movie…attempting to think about something OTHER than my best friend’s absence.
Later that night, “Eye Guy” came over to attempt to cheer me up. Like any man, he wanted to “fix” the problem…then “make out. :) And like most women mourning the departure of someone special, I told him I needed my space (aka “get lost”) and to call me the next day. My pity party was my own and no one else’s…and would certainly not be ruined by some dude.
When the alarm rang the next morning, I made a conscious effort to find my “big girl panties.” I pulled my mood out of the gutter. And suddenly….all was “right” again in the world. Driving to work,….my acoustic satellite music channel acting as a sappy soundtrack…I pondered my blessings
As women…we need each other. It doesn’t matter what stage of life we’re currently “in”…or moving “into”…or “leaving.”
The lesson here….good friends really don’t change…instead…they help you roll, conquer, and survive all of your own life changes. And distance…well, it’s just a small detour.
If you like this post, send it to one of your BFFs.