Chances are…if you’re reading this…you’ve thrown yourself a gi-normous pity party over the last year when life was “less than perfect.” I mean a BIG one…complete with streamers, multiple glasses of wine, tear-drenched pillowcases, never-ending snot-rags, mushy Netflix movies, and pathetic phone calls.
Sigh. I get it. I’ve been guilty on more than one occasion. And I admit, sometimes I’ve shown up early to the pity party, stayed waaaaaay too long, and was the last guest to leave.
For women….pity parties often coincide with baby showers, wedding showers, birthday parties, Christmas, New Year’s Eve, weddings, Valentine’s Day, and any other damn emotional holiday. We see what other people have….and sadly…we get jealous…and depressed.
It’s a big cycle. I’ve seen it with my friends…and within myself. At times I think no one is happy. Hear me out. Single women LONG for that loyal boyfriend who will turn into a loving husband. Married women with the loyal husband desperately NEED that first coveted baby. And married women with both the coveted kids and husband WANT a full night of sleep, no stretch marks, and a career outside the home. We all want…what the other one has. To top it all off, we drive each other nuts talking about it! :)
I know men don’t react this way. Men only get depressed when they are FORCED to attend a baby or wedding shower because it’s interrupting their golf game. Dudes could care less about Valentine’s Day or New Year’s Eve in the scheme of televised sports, food, sex, beer festivals, snow boarding, a new 9 iron, and nose-picking. Lucky bastards.
So I do avoid the urge to throw myself a pity party? I’ve learned some tricks…A) Call one of my closest friends immediately! B) Write out my blessings…then read them out loud. C) Call my dad. D) Play crazy, fun music…Bon Jovi is so so undeniably cheesy but yet so so so uplifting! E) Curl my hair, throw on my favorite jeans, and hit the town with a few friends. F) Exercise….even if it means sulking in the back of the work out room with all the other lazy people.
The old cliché is that “women can have it all”….but honestly…I’m not sure. I think we can have it all…but NOT at once. More in doses. A chapter at a time. Over a 20 year period. And maybe that’s ok. So I’m trying to LOVE what I do have (health, a career, a home called Colorado, loving friends and family, creativity)…and not dwell on “what I don’t” (a baby daddy…a baby). And I’m finding every excuse to party – but not in the way of a pity party.
So…how do you decline the pity party invitation?