Somehow Learning to Say NO

Amidst my hectic, whirlwind work day two days ago, my dad sent me a text message which landed me in “lah-lah land” for a brief moment.  Often times, text messages carry NO real substance.  This one, however, left me thinking….”Wow, my dad is right”…as I pondered my current existence.

The text message read….”What can you say ‘no’ to…so you have the time to say ‘yes’ to the important?”

As I thought about this simple question, I actually started to tear up ever so slightly.  No, I wasn’t PMS-ing, I was rather reacting to my present state of mind – which at that moment – was CHAOS.  My dad could sense my borderline panic attack during our earlier phone call, and reached out to me in an efficient time-saving “2010” aka texting manner.

Look everyone….I’m guilty as charged.  I’m so busy saying ‘YES” to things that DON’T matter….I become so exhausted I CAN’T enjoy the things that DO matter.  Where’s the fun in that stupid practice?  It’s “over-saturation” at its finest.

To those of you who frequent my blog, you’ve probably noticed my pathetic absence.  Truth is….I’ve overcommitted myself.  Forget about the current seven day week…I need a nine day week…plus an extra three days for the weekend.  Maybe then, I’ll have time to catch up and actually sleep 8 hours straight.

This spring, I’ve fallen into my familiar “bad habit” pattern — saying YES to everything.  I nod yes to lengthy phone calls with friends and family, yes to happy hours, yes to working late, yes to working through lunch, yes to starting work early, yes to blowing off the gym, yes to cutting it too close, yes to facebook, yes to driving across town for events that don’t matter, yes to staying up a few more hours, yes to frivolous brunches, and YES to things I somehow forget about in entirety the next week.

Then I find myself COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED, unable to enjoy the precious moments to the fullest with close friends….or a special friend….or simply glossing over a spectacular moment…or postponing something that really matters.

What happened to the word “no” in my vocabulary?  I sure didn’t have a hard time saying NO as a toddler OR teenager.  Why did it suddenly sneak away in my 30s?  Wherever “no” went, I desperately it back in my life.  Oh, “no,” I’ve missed you so.

I’ve decided “we” as women love (or rather LIVE) to overcommit.  Dudes don’t seem to have this problem.  I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.  I have never thought to myself…”Wow, my guy friend so-and-so is so so busy and overcommitted in life.  He must be stressed.”  Mostly, men are better at women at saying NO.  (Actually this topic makes for a great future blog post so I’m going to quit typing now.)

Bottom line, here’s my promise to myself….the things I borderline care about will NOT take precedence over the things I passionately care about.  Maybe that’s a lofty order…but I consider it a healthy checkpoint.

And to my good friends and close relatives, if I blow you off from time to time, don’t take it personally.  I may simply be trying to save my sanity that particular week.

In closing…this is me saying “NO” to writing any more words for this post…and YES to hitting the sack before midnight…just barely.

Boring Women Have Clean Houses

A guy who I recently dated confessed to me once, “My mother always told me – Only BORING women have clean houses.”

Imagine my inner glee upon hearing these profound words.  I secretly prayed, “Thank you Baby Jesus, someone finally understands me.”

I guess deep down – his point was…”Why clean your house when you can spend time having fun?”

Not that I’m a slob…far from it.  But let’s just say…there’s mucho more important things in my life than working hard to shine the bathroom toilet with my old Oral B.  Hhhmmm…things LIKE:  working at my job, working on my inner self, working on my outer self (specifically butt and legs), working to find the cheapest happy hours in town, working to find the most available men in town, working to make new friends, working to keep the old ones, working on that promotion, working to eat healthy, working on my snow skiing form, working to stay mentally fit, working to stay emtionally sound, working on my blog, working to spend money, working on saving money, working to keep my parents happy, working to keep my pets content….

Oh my goodness…I’m exhausted just typing all that crap.  (And I’m only a SINGLE person!)  How do you married peeps with kids keep your own show running and on the air?

Somedays I have NO idea how I juggle everything.  Then I glance around and see the growing “volcano” of clothes on my bedroom chair, the “tumbleweed” of dog hair rolling through the hallway, and the stacks of recycling resembling a Jenga puzzle.  And I haven’t even mentioned the laundry that’s been stashed in the dryer for nine days….(did I even turn ON the dryer??)

Good lord…how did I get so busy?  It snuck up on my quicker than my 30s.  I forgot I’m supposed to be superwoman….work full-time, scrub like Mr. Clean, then throw on a pair of heels, and appear mesmerizing to my “date of the night.”

In an effort to maximize time, women, including my girlfriends, have tried everything to accomplish the following mantra — “I need an orderly house to live an orderly life.”  My friend Lacey planned her life for awhile using an excel spreadsheet – with color coding!  I decided to toss that idea considering I would have to “work” on my excel skills before take-off, thus sucking away more valuable minutes.

Another galfriend, Suzanna, bought the Roomba robot vacuum.  She left work hoping for a mini daytime miracle.  Ended up, Roomba was taking breaks on the job, and could barely suck anything up.  Roomba ended up in the next garage sale – looking for a new mommy.

And then there’s me.  Six months ago, I decided to have groceries delivered to my front door on a regular basis.  Every Friday morning, the milk man from Royal Crest Dairy (just like in Leave it to Beaver) leaves me fresh milk, butter, and eggs on my porch.  And every other Wednesday, courtesy of Door to Door Organics, I arrive home to find a box of yummy organic fruits and veggies waiting to take shelter in my fridge.  I’m not high maintenance…I’m simply trying to maintain my sanity as a professional 30-somethin’ single gal.

Gone are my days of spending hours at Safeway, cruising the aisles – only to lug milk jugs, egg cartons, and 40-ton bags of apples to the car in 10 degree temperatures.  (You’ve been there.)  Distant are my days of balancing five plastic bags at once while grasping house keys, struggling up two flights of stairs, and talking on my cell phone.  (Sound familiar?)

So how much time does this save??  I estimate at LEAST three hours a week.  And my grocery bill remains the same.  It’s a win-win for moi-moi….a godsend at times – especially when I work late or “play late.”

So…what do I do with that “saved time?”  Hmmm……good question.

Well, when push comes to shove….I sure as heck don’t use it to push a vacuum.  What fun would that be?